• New beginnings

    It’s time for a new adventure!

    You can find all future Adventures After Hours posts over at: www.cedarandclove.com
    (If you’re following this blog on bloglovin don’t worry you’ll still be able to see all of my new posts. Hooray!)

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  • Stop Thinking And Start Being

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    (image by Yu Tsai)

    I am one of the worst people I know for over analysing situations. I just can’t help myself sometimes, I find myself wide awake at 3am running over a conversation I had during dinner in my head or I’ll spend half an hour in the shower just simply standing there replaying a situation that didn’t go to plan. We are all guilty of it to some degree, but it’s hardly healthy especially when it comes down to dating and relationships. It’s really difficult to fall for anyone if you’re constantly second guessing everything they’re telling you.

    Over thinking your life and the situations in it is an excellent way to waste a lot of time and for most of us our time is precious which is exactly why I decided a while ago to stop thinking and just start being. It’s almost as easy as that you simply stop thinking about every last little thing you should or could have done and just do other amazing things instead. Arrange to go on a date, maybe two, maybe even three but don’t think about it just do it. Turn up have a wonderful time and then leave, it’s as easy as that. Don’t sit at home for days after your date thinking what you could have said or did that would make the date go any differently because no matter how hard you think about it you never will actually be able to change whats already happened, unless you have a time machine I don’t know about.

    An excellent example of this sort of behaviour would be the time I spilled half my drink down someone who I was actually getting along incredibly well with, I’m such a clumsy person that this is something that happens regularly to me but I was still understandably embarrassed. Luckily for me they were fine about it and the rest of the evening went okay, however we didn’t arrange to see each other again. The old me would have chalked this up to me spilling that drink and played that situation over and over again in my brain, I would have reassessed the way they reacted when it happened and  twisted some of the things they said. I probably would have gotten really angry that they hadn’t called but decided that it was all my fault for spilling that drink anyway. That evening would have replayed over in my brain for at least a week, maybe two and I would have got nothing at all out of that.

    The new me however simply said it was a great evening and moved on, went for dinner with someone else and didn’t think about it again. That is the difference between over thinking and just being, you have to allow yourself to move on from a situation that didn’t go how you planned and keep moving forwards. The power of simply accepting things that haven’t gone to plan is a great one, learn from any mistakes of course but know that spending your time thinking things over is simply a complete waste of your time.

    So how to stop it when it’s all your brain wants to do? It’s 3am and you’re wide awake and you could just cry because you can’t stop thinking things over well there are ways to help yourself out when you’re finding it tough:

    Just let go

    Do whatever you need to do wether it’s writing it down, talking it over or singing a made up song about it, just get it out of your system and forget about it. Sometimes it helps to actually visualise the thought drifting away from you and being replaced with a new more productive one so try this and kick that thought out of your brain.

    Keep busy

    It’s difficult to over analyse when we have a million and one other things to be getting on with so keep yourself busy, write that blog post, walk the dog or just dance around your bedroom.

    Make a thankful list

    The best way to get your brain on your side is to shrink all your negative thoughts into submission and one of the nicest ways to do this is to fill your body with positive ones. Keep a list of all the things you are thankful for, all of the things you do well, all of the great dates you have had and everything else great about your life and next time you find your brain trying to negatively over analyse a situation call on that list for some more positive thought replacements.

    Talk to a friend

    Sometimes it’s the only option, we often need that second opinion or just someone to tell us we are being stupid so if you find yourself replaying a situation over in your brain and you just can’t stop call up your best friend and talk it out. Make sure you don’t do this all the time though as that can get a little annoying but having a support network when things go a little wrong is never a bad thing.

    Allow yourself to sleep

    The worst part of being someone that analyses situations is that the brain has a hard time switching off especially at bed time so the most important thing to do is relax, have a lovely bath an hour before going to bed, read a book and turn off the television get yourself to that relaxing place mentally before getting into bed and remember never try and go to sleep when you don’t feel tired this is when you’re most likely to start going over your thoughts.

    Write it down

    One of the easiest ways to get that thought out of your brain and actually a great thing to do before bed is write it all down, start a diary if you know you’re the sort of person that has a hard time letting go of thoughts and make sure you write everything down that is blocking your brain from rest.
    Keep adventuring,
    dsig2

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  • My Kind Of Living

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    I think I’m probably finally settled into my new place and it’s not as strange living alone as I first thought it would be. I actually think I’m sort of enjoying it, if anything it is at least really nice to be surrounded by all of my own things displayed in the way I like them to be. I spent a lot of time getting the living room right as it’s the biggest room in the apartment and I am really loving how it turned out in the end.

    It’s a room where I can display all of my vintage collections along with a whole bunch of cute things I have picked up on my travels to Tokyo over the years, it’s a complete contrast to the bedroom but I like it all the same and it has a completely different vibe to it.
    It’s a mixture of so many aspects of my personality and ranges from ‘big kid’ to ‘old man’ but it’s really homely to me and I’ve taken to curling up on the sofa and playing some Rilo Kiley on my record player when I’m feeling a little under the weather, it’s just a really nice room to be in.

    The sofa and armchair are from Ikea, I got the Karlstad sofa in grey but bought some mid century style legs from Thirteen Colonies on Etsy to give it a more vintage look and now absolutely love it. The armchair is the Strandmon and is perfect just the way it is I literally fell in love with it the second I saw it in the store.
    I screwed some vintage Dansette legs that I had been holding onto for a while onto an old suitcase I had to make a small side table for next to the sofa which turned out really cute so I’m really glad I held onto them.

    I also couldn’t resist the Raskog trolley from Ikea when I saw it on my initial shopping trip and though it’s designed for kitchens it’s currently used for storing my sewing machine, washi tape and other crafty bits and bobs. It’s nice to have them all in one place and that’s probably the way it will stay for quite a while but it’s great for wheeling to wherever you need it. I had considered getting other one to use for bathroom storage I love it so much.
    My writing table is a 1950s drop leaf formica table that I have had for around 2 years but never really used properly because I just didn’t have the room for it so it’s been really great giving it a purpose as it is such a lovely looking table, I also plan on using it as a dining table for whenever I have guests over as it quite a good size when in full use.

    I thought living alone might make me feel a little lonely and though I will admit it can have that effect at times it has been a refreshing and much needed new start for me and not as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve been ill this past week or so and even that wasn’t as bad alone as I would have previously thought, I’ve been updating instagram quite a bit over the past few weeks so feel free to follow me on there if you aren’t already to keep updated.

    What would your ideal living space look like?
    Keep adventuring,
    dsig2

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